The Girl Who Got Away—But Never the One Who Was Chosen!

Why am I always the one who gets away, but never the one who’s chosen? I often wonder why I am always the girl who guys realize in hindsight that I was good for them. They always tell me they wish they had treated me better or appreciated me when they had me. They never seem to think they deserved a woman as good as me. Or maybe they realize that I am the one who does not deserve a man like him. You know the selfish, self-serving, inconsistent type of man. They tell me they loved the way I cared for them, the way I supported their dreams. I kept them encouraged to be a better man. They always say I have all the qualities of being a wife, they love how great a mother I am. But they never seem to see the value in me until I leave. I mean how ironic is that? They can’t seem to see this light that I have inside me.

This light that I am willing to share and give so that in their darkest hour they will always know they have a safe space here with me.

The light inside me shines brightly, like a full moon on the darkest night. That is until they’ve done something to betray my trust. Or maybe I just get tired of being ignored and taken for granted. I pack away my feelings, close off my heart and turn off that light that I once kept on for them wishing that 1 day they will see how beautiful and rare it is and decide, here with me is where they want to be.

Until they choose me.

But, you see I am always the one that got away, NEVER the one that’s chosen.

As I sit and listen to them try to explain why they aren’t the man for me their faces full of regret, and fake sympathy. The infamous “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. I look at them in disappointment. What I once thought could be, suddenly, was not. The man I thought had so much respect and admiration for me, actually, does not. I thought that if I had kept my standards high and if I carried myself in a certain way (you know, like a lady is supposed to). If I waited a while to be intimate, maybe I could avoid situations like this. But somehow that never seems to be the case. As I said, I am the girl who got away and never the one chosen.

How is it that a man who not only tells you but shows you with his actions you are the person he likes to spend his time with just decide you are no longer worth his time. Is that just it, am I just a placeholder in time. Someone passing by and passing through his life to teach him all the things he needs to learn for the next girl. Yeah, maybe that’s it. Train him up, get him all fixed for the next woman after me. Teach him how to love, communicate, hell maybe even fix his style. All just so “Becky with the good hair” can reap all the benefits of my work.

As he continues to explain himself, I ask myself, how can this be when I am the one he calls not only when things go wrong, but even when things go right. I am the first person he calls in the morning and the last person he speaks to before he sleeps. He goes above and beyond in ways he says he has never done for another woman. He showers you with love and affection, he understands you and you understand him (or so you thought). Your visions align for your future. He supports your dreams and loves your ambition just as much as you support him. He seems to have looked past the silly mistakes you made in the past. The trauma you’ve endured in the past doesn’t scare him away. Only to say months after all this unwavering intention that he wants to date other people. He doesn’t want to “put all of his eggs in one basket.”

The man you once were so sure about is no longer sure about you.

Well, Tramesse are you the delusional one? Did you make this all up? Did you have on your rose-colored glasses and miss all of the signs.

Nahh…I am not about to put this all on me!

The real question is, why does he think he can put a woman like me on ice? He is willing to roll the dice and gamble away his opportunity of having everything he claimed he wanted in a woman. A woman as good as me rarely comes around twice. But good luck to you sir. Remember I am always the girl who got away.

To the girl reading this, the one who feels like she’s never chosen—remember this: You were chosen the moment you were born. Chosen by the universe, chosen by God, chosen by the infinite potential within you. If they can’t see your worth while you’re standing in your light, it’s because their eyes aren’t ready for the brilliance you bring. And that’s not a reflection of you—it’s their loss, their lesson to learn.

So, choose yourself. Choose to honor your heart, your dreams, and the love you so freely give. Stand tall in the knowledge that your value isn’t determined by someone else’s inability to see it.

One day, someone will come along who doesn’t just see your light—they’ll cherish it, protect it, and reflect it right back to you. Until then, let your light shine for you, because you are more than enough, just as you are.

Keep shining, keep thriving, and keep being the incredible woman you were always meant to be. The right one will find you. And in the meantime, you’ve already found the most important person—you.

Keep your head up boo- T.Nikole